5 Things You Must Know to Be Depression & Anxiety Free

I originally filmed the video that inspired this blog post at the cusp of New Year’s Eve, but found it fitting to publish an article on it now since this is the time of year in which those New Year’s resolutions have already been violated and even forgotten about.

As the New Year was approaching, a great many people were telling me that they wanted this year to be the year that they finally got their depression and anxiety under control. They had struggled long enough and wanted to determine how to make real changes.

I applauded their desire to radically improve their lives and cautioned that, in order to actually make profound improvements in their mental health, they would need to take 5 things into serious consideration.

Over the years I’ve gotten the privilege and challenge of witnessing what principles enable people to truly manage (or even overcome) their depression or anxiety, and I’ve also seen undeniable patterns in the cases where people do not make improvements.

Regardless of when you are reading this, do you want this year to be your depression and anxiety free year? If so, make sure that you take these 5 points to heart.

1. Depression and Anxiety are very real, painful, and limiting emotional experiences

I start with this point even though it is one of the more obvious to those who might be reading an article like this in the first place, but it bears repeating so that we can start on the same page.

Although I routinely aid individuals in naturally overcoming their depression and anxiety in the span of a few weeks or a few months at maximum, I do not ascribe to the idea that depression and anxiety are reducible to “people seeking attention” or them being “made up in the head.”

If anyone in your life is preaching such statements to you, they lack distinction in what is going on and are likely to push you further into a mental corner where recovery becomes less probable.

2. Depression and Anxiety are not lifetime sentences

Or at least they don’t have to be. 

The major myth that our society has pushed for the last several decades about mental health is that we are helping people by 1) listening to the bare minimum amount of information about how they are feeling, 2) providing them with a diagnosis and a label that shifts their view of themselves fundamentally, and then 3) convincing them through non-directive and prolonged therapy, counseling, and prescriptions to ineffective drugs that the best they can hope to do is learn to cope with their “condition.”

This brings us to point three. 

3. After you struggled for a very long period of time, you will conclude wrongfully that things cannot change 

While almost every person with depression and anxiety starts their mental health journey by seeking out and hoping to find a true solution to their problem, they are instead slowly convinced by an outdated industry that something about them is fundamentally broken and will always remain so.

The vast majority of therapists and counselors have been trained to look at the problem of depression and anxiety as a being primarily understandable as a product of someone’s genetics, biochemistry, and/or environment. 

Thus, every attempt they may make to help the patient in any way is filtered through their guiding belief that lasting change is improbable if not impossible and that simply getting through another week as painlessly as possible is the worthy goal.

And so the patient comes to believe this themselves over time until both patent and practitioner are trapped in a belief system of their own creation that will keep the patient in pain.

Do not misunderstand me on this point.

Yes, therapists and counselors are deeply compassionate people who care and try to make a difference, but their training is horribly outdated. 

And yes, depression and anxiety are real and painful emotional experiences that are not being chosen by the person suffering from them.

But, there have been countless, documented cases of individuals who have naturally overcome even the most severe forms of depression, anxiety, and even PTSD, OCD, and addiction.

Rather than labeling people with a “mental illness” we would better serve people who are struggling to help them understand that they are struggling with a changeable, temporarily conditioned “mental pattern.”

Which brings us to point 4.

4. Sitting, waiting, and hoping that things get better on their own, or doing the same things that you’ve always done, is not going to actually solve your problem.

If you really want this year to be your depression and anxiety free year, this point has to be well understood in your bones.

If you’ve been on medication or have been in therapy or counseling for several months or years and are still depressed or anxious, what does that tell you about the likelihood of those routes producing a full solution for you?

The same actions will produce the same results they always have.

Whether you’ve been hoping for a miracle to happen on its own, or whether you’ve thought that maybe once enough time passes you will feel better, or whether you’ve been waiting for your therapist to give you that one insight that changes everything, or whether you are praying to find the “magic combo” of pills, these routes do not end in lasting recovery. 

If your real goal is not just to “get through the day” but to actually feel alive again and get your depression and anxiety off of your back, you’ve got to understand that natural cures do exist (and I’m not talking about supplements or some hippie stuff).

Countless people who struggled with severe cases of both depression and anxiety who are no smarter or more capable than you have done it, so why not you?

What did they do differently? Well, for the first thing is that they understood that...

5. No change in your mental health can ever happen without taking back your responsibility and power to actually make that change happen

Be careful to not misunderstand me here.

Depression and anxiety are murky, confusing, frustrating challenges. Trying to get through your own depression or anxiety without proper training is much like trying to stick the point of a needle with that same needle.

After years of helping people overcome these challenges naturally and in a lasting way, a few things have become clear.

Depression and anxiety are not random. They do not just befall some individuals and skip over others. You are not defined by your heredity unless you choose to believe you are.

The only way to overcome this is to implement a proven process, not sit and wait for something to change on its own.

You need key understandings in how your mind works and what produces depression and anxiety in the first place. 

There are only so many things that could be causing depression or anxiety, and once those are understood and mastered, you no longer have to be enslaved by either pattern again. You’ll know how they manifest and how to keep them from emerging.

But remember this for as long as you life: no change is possible to the man or woman who does not believe it is.

 

VIDEO TRANSCRIPT

Hey everybody, Ty Hicks here. Very excited to be speaking with you. It’s been a while since I’ve been live in the group and I wanted to touch base with you, guys because tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and this a time of the year when I know a lot of people are doing some reflecting on where they currently stand with their mental health.

And a lot of people are looking for some answers, you know. Where they can really take things at 2020? Is it really going to be possible for them to make serious gains in their depression and their anxiety? What is even possible to make 2020 their first depression and anxiety free year in a very long period of time? For many of you guys I know you’ve been challenged since your early childhood which is when things began for me as well.

So there are 5 major things that I want to go through with you all today that have really uncovered themselves as very key lessons in the past year specifically that have demonstrate themselves to be self evident as we’ve been working with people to really naturally overcome depression and anxiety because, if you’re reflecting right now on the opportunity to be potentially be depression and anxiety free in 2020, these specifically 5 things that I think you really need to understand and come to groups with. 

So, if it helps you, maybe get a piece of paper out, jot these down, but I really think you need to let this sink in for you because unfortunately, I don’t think you’re going to have much of a chance to really make the goals happen that you want unless you can really take these for what the worth.

So, the first one that I really want to revisit and this is not necessarily new if you heard me speak on this issue before, but bares repeating because so many people forget it and it’s very critical as you know, number one, obviously, depression and anxiety are very real experiences, they’re very real. I struggled with suicidal depression myself. 

The fact that you’re dealing with what you’re dealing with is obviously not to be taken lightly by a long shot. You’re struggling with something where everyday, you’re waking up, you’re unsure why you’re feeling, how you’re feeling that way. You feel stuck in it, you feel that there’s not a way out, you’re feeling that you’ve tried so many different things. You’ve gotten to a spot where you’re losing a sense of hope that things could actually improve.

And to make it worse, for most of you, I know that your friends and family don’t very often understand or appreciate that what you’re going through is in fact a very real painful experience that you’re not consciously choosing. So, that’s the first thing that I want us to be one hundred and ten percent clear on this.

Yes, what you’re dealing with is a very real experience, but I also need to be very clear with number two, the second big thing that you really got to understand if you truly want to get over this, and that is that depression and anxiety are not lifetime sentences. At least they don’t have to be. They end up being life sentences for a great many people, but I want to share with you that that is not have to be the case for you.

And you might be thinking that a lot of people think when I say this to them, “Well Ty, you don’t understand.” You know, I went through this and I went through that and I know many of you have even suffered some very serious abuse, physical, sexual, mental, gone through some very very serious life challenges.

Some clients we’ve worked with have witnessed some very serious physical atrocities happening. Physical violence happening to people, so I know you’ve probably dealt with some traumatic experiences. I know that your childhood was probably too pretty. I know all those things are probably true.

For what I want you to understand is while I completely can appreciate what you’re going through is individually your own experience, I want you to understand that so many people before you have gone through more than likely something that is as serious or probably worse, and they have by implementing the right approach and by understanding the right insights have become depression and anxiety free. 

There’s not a determining factor on whether you can recover that is primarily based on your background, or your genetics, or hereditary lineage. Those are not the biggest important factors, they play a part, don’t get me wrong, but in my experience in actually helping people create a real solution for their depression and anxiety.

Those are not the most determining factors, so I want you to understand the second big point here, that depression and anxiety do not have to be a lifetime sentence for you, and even if you’re dealing with something in addition to that, post traumatic disorder, even the complex version, OCD, any of those types of challenges.

Those also can be overcome, they truly can, and I know that something that’s tough for you to grasp right now and I really appreciate that, I do. And I don’t necessarily expect you to just take me on my word for that, I wouldn’t expect that at all. But I want you to at least entertain that and the question I want to ask you is this, if you are not willing to entertain the idea that you can actually overcome your anxiety or your depression, what real chance do you have of being able to make some serious gains?

Because for doing this for after many years, what I can tell you is this. People who are not willing to temporarily suspend disbelief and entertain the idea that they actually could tangibly make real progress, or overcome their challenge, if you’re not willing to do that, you have no chance of actually making significant improvements. 

And what I have seen is an undeniable pattern over the years, and this brings me to point number three, this is the third major thing I think you’ve got to be acquainted with if you really want to be depression and anxiety free in 2020. And that is after you struggled for a very long period of time, you will conclude wrongfully that things cannot change.

After you’ve been struggling for months, years, or decades. After you’ve tried all the common stuff, after you’ve gone through counseling, you’ve gone through therapy, you’ve tried the medication, you’ve tried self help, you’ve read all the online blogs, you’ve done the meditation and the breathing exercises, you’ve tried all the coping work, you’ve tried journaling, you’ve tried all of these things and you’re still struggling, the subconscious conclusion that you will arrive at is that you are broken, that you have something that’s going to be with you for the rest of your life.

And what I want to share with you is that that is the most dangerous place you could possibly get in, because the reason you’re not getting the actual gains that you need to in terms of improving your mental health is simply because you have not applied the right approach, and our society has not disseminated what the a proven approach is, it’s not widely known. 

The most common methods people are recommended to go to are the most ineffectual methods, and they are only methods that help you cope, and get through the days, and essentially help you become convinced of the idea that you’re going to have this for the rest of your life, and that the best that you can do is just minimize the pain.

And I’m here to tell you that that is not a reality you have to settle for. It’s certainly the choice that you have, but it is not the only choice that you have. There is a path to actually overcome this, but you’re going to have to do things very differently, and the first thing that you’re going to have to do differently is entertain the idea that you actually can overcome this, because people know smarter than you, have done it.

People know more capable than you have done it. People with issues as serious as yours and probably more serious have also done it. So, you often use this simplistic metaphor, right? But if you’re trying to go West, if you’re trying to travel West, and you don’t have a compass, and you just start running as hard and as fast that you possibly can, and you don’t end up at the destination that you want to, you might wrongfully conclude that your attempts are futile, that’s not the case.

 You’ve just been running in the wrong direction, and it doesn’t matter how long or fast or hard or consistently you’re running in that wrong direction, it’s still the wrong direction. So, a shift in approach, a shift in strategy, a shift in process is very often it all it really needs, because you know, people often even ridicule what I claimed that depression and anxiety can be overcome in a couple of months, but they don’t appreciate the fact that they’ve been going the wrong direction for maybe, their whole life. 

And as soon as you actually know where to look for the source, things can change very radically. So, that brings us to point number four. And this time for me to have a heart to heart with you because my friend, I want you to understand, I don’t take this lightly by any means. I was once in a point in my life where I was contemplating and ending my life.

I work with people everyday who are in the depths of despair who don’t think that they have an opportunity to live a life of passion, or impact, or purpose anymore, and they’re contemplating giving up, either just in terms of resigning themselves, to accepting this is how their life is going to be, or contemplating checking out of life.

So, I take this with the utmost seriousness and sincerity, and that’s why I have to share with you point number four. And point number four, if you really want to be depression and anxiety free in 2020, you need to understand that sitting, waiting, and hoping that things get better on their own, or doing the same things that you’ve always done, is not going to actually solve your problem. 

If you’ve done what you’ve previously done, and you’ve got particular result from from it, let’s say you’ve tried therapy, counseling, or medication routes which almost inevitably end with you feeling short term progress, but never a long term solution, if you’ve tried those routes, or any others, you’ve gotten invariably certain result from those efforts.

But as you know, any result in life is the consequence of a particular action. Just using that metaphor, I just gave you a second ago, a shift in direction, a shift in process, a shift in new action being taken is what’s required in order to get a new result. And what I know is, that when people tried and tried what gotten to this point where they feel like nothing can change, they end up spending their time simply, engaging in the message boards on Facebook support groups, right?

They end up just exchanging sympathy with each other.  They end up just essentially feeling bad for themselves and it’s not to say that, it’s not to delegitimize the pain that you’re in because I’m sure you are in pain, but my question is, what’s your real goal? Do you want to change this? Do you want to shift it? 

And if that is the case, because I think you would not be here, listening to this video right now, if that weren’t the case of the deepest level. If your real goal is to actually shift this, overcome it and reclaim your life, you’ve got to understand waiting for things to get better, or doing what you’ve always done is not going to actually change it. You’ve got to do something different.

And that brings me to my fifth and final point, and that is no change particularly in regards to your mental health can ever happen without taking back your responsibility and power to actually make this change happen. I’m not saying that it’s as easy as flipping a light switch, far from it, without a doubt. It does take time.

And even with the most effective method, it’s not something that’s going to happen overnight, it takes work, it takes diligence, it takes consistency, but the most important thing to understand is that it can be done. But it can only be done with the very first step, and I will share with you over the years having work with people who have got incredible results in this area and as well as unfortunately seeing a lot people who have decided to not take the appropriate action and therefore, have not gotten the right results, I will share with you the absolute most important first step, is making a real decision. 

And that brings us to the time of the year we’re in right now. You might have been contemplating some New Year’s Resolutions. And what does it mean to make a resolution? Well, to make a resolution means, a real resolution means to cut off from any other possibility. A real resolution means that it’s decided, that it’s done. 

You may not know how it’s going to be done, you may not necessarily have access to all of the tools right now, you may need to get some extra guidance. You may need to do something different that you don’t even yet know what that may be, but to first arrive at the conclusion and the decision that you’re no longer going to what you’ve previously got.

And if you’re like most people in the world right now, this time of year, you’ve probably been contemplating on the pain you’ve been experiencing so far. I don’t know how long you’ve been struggling, it maybe a couple months, maybe a couple of years, maybe a couple of decades, but I’m sure it’s been too long, and I’m sure you’re probably getting to a spot where you’re really fed up with that, and you’re really looking to make a change. 

So if you are in a position where you want to make a real resolution, I want to extend to you an invitation. Tomorrow, on New Year’s Eve, we’re going to be opening up early enrollment for January class of clients. These are people who are going to be committed to being depression and anxiety free by mid March.

These are going to be people entering our process, they will be given our framework, they will be given our direct 1 on 1 guidance in order to make sure that they actually get that end result. So if you are in a position where you’re tired of coping, you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you’re really in a spot where you want to make a real resolution, a real decision to actually beat this, then it’s time to step up. It’s time to do something different, it’s time to take that first step forward.

So I invite you to do that. Go ahead and just comment below, “I’m resolved.” Just go ahead and comment below, “I’m resolved.” If I’m describing you, if I’m talking to you right now, and you do truly want 2020 to be your anxiety and depression free year. Myself or a team member will reach out to you, we’ll have just a couple of questions for you, we’ll set up just a quick five minute call.

We’ll see if in fact you do meet our qualifications and if the timing is really right, and if we could be confident that we could help you produce that result by mid March. So, go ahead and comment right now, “I’m resolved” below. Take the very first step to making 2020 your depression and anxiety free year. Excited to talk to you soon. Take care.

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