Are You Asking the Right Questions?
Jul 12, 2018SUMMARY
The quality of your life and leadership is in direct proportion to the value and scope of the questions that you ask. If you are constantly asking the same, lousy questions about your life experience you will only continue to give yourself more lousy answers.
When your boss denies your raise request you can either allow your mind to ask an unresourceful question like "why are they such a jerk?" which will leave you feeling anxious and as if the situation is not within your control.
Or, you can catch your reptile brain's reactionary train of thought before it goes too far down the rabbit hole and turn around your focus to ask a question that can serve you such as "what can I learn from this?" or "how can I make my value undoubtable?"
No matter what question you ask, the mind will generate an answer. The questions that we ask largely determine the possibilities that we consider, the choices that we weigh, and the emotions that we experience.
Their importance cannot be understated, and unless you learn how to consciously ask questions that will serve you, your mind will default to asking plenty of ones that don't.
FURTHER EDUCATION
- I put together a free mini-course on how to take control of your personal psychology and accelerate your progress. Check it out here.
- I assembled three of my favorite trainings on how to effectively and ethically influence anyone into a completely free mini course. Get it here.
- Looking to get a better handle on your financial future? Check out my free introductory trainings here on how to handle this area for good.
QUOTE CARDS
TRANSCRIPT
The human mind is a question asking machine, whether we kind of internally hear ourselves ask those questions or whether they're kind of below that like conscious level of awareness. So, for example, let's say you turn in the paper that you thought was really good and your professor gives you a horrible grade on it, okay? Any of you guys ever had this experience? I did.
And what will happen is your brain will start asking some questions. What your brain might ask is "why did this happen to me?" or "Why is my professor such a jerk?" or "Why is this so unfair?" or "what the hell were they thinking?" If you ask a lousy question, you're going to get a lousy answer. And the human mind has no ability to ask a question, but not produce an answer. And so what happens also when you get overwhelmed, is your mind is asking way too many crappy questions way too fast and you're not be able to create answers for them.
So one of the things I mention to people is the quality of your life and your leadership is largely a direct proportion to the quality of the questions that you ask. And so what happens when you ask a higher quality question, is all of the sudden higher quality answers start to be produced from that. And that's an incredibly powerful thing for an organization. A lot of times the sort of collective consciousness of an organization is asking the wrong question, and so everybody's focus – everybody's cumulative ability to provide skills to the table. Is limited because you aren't even in the right frame of mind.
So, instead, if you ask a question and especially if you ask a question that goes a little bit of outside of that map we talked about... For instance, if you can ask a question like you know what "How could we raise our standards in such a way that goes beyond what we currently imagine is possible?" for example, then, all of the sudden the mind, when you start and sit and focus on it, has no choice but to start to come up with answers.
And when we go back to like that story of Henry Ford or Thomas Edison, that's what was happening. Is they first got committed. They said "this is where we're going no matter what." And then they started asking a bunch of questions of "how can we get there?" "If this didn't work would this work? If this didn't work would this work, right?
Your brain Is essentially you know, a sort of super computer. I mean it really is like enabling you to tap into essentially like infinite intelligence, because if something doesn't work and you stay committed you'll stay motivated and your brain will continue to produce answers for you. You guys ever had a situation where there is like a new product or a new video game or I don't know a new car or something you really wanted, right?
And it was like just about to come out, like okay like the iPhone X for example, or something, and all of the sudden you started seeing iPhone X's like everywhere, you started seeing, like you know, them all All over the place well, what's happening is the part of your brain called the reticular activation system... you've told your brain "Hey, this thing is important" and so now when you go back out into the world, your brain is trying to tell you anything that looks like it or that could get you closer to it.
So you can use that to your advantage when you say "Hey, here is something vitally important for my organization or for my team" and then you go back out in the world and that lens now becomes one that you can view all the experience that flows to you and all the decisions that you make, and you can start to think "hmm, this might get us closer" "this might get us closer."
So if you want to change the quality of your life or your organization start looking at what are the questions we're asking and what are the higher quality of questions that we could be asking?
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