How to Access the Infinite Possibilities of Your Mind

What limits us?

Isn't it amazing how we can tend to curl in on ourselves when we are faced with circumstances that challenge us to grow?

We tell ourselves that we want our lives to be one way but then we act in ways that fly in the face of our true desires. Later on, we look back at our incongruent behavior and wonder what we were thinking; we kick ourselves for our shoddy actions and angrily vow to never let it happen again.

Why is the story of the human condition in more cases than not so easily described by the expansion of this downward spiral?

After studying human behavior intensely for years and making it an obsession to understand what happens in that critical moment between external stimuli and internal decision, I am happy to share that the answer is far simpler than we realize.

Although we'd never admit it, we think that the answer to our cosmic turmoil must be a heavily involved answer that requires a lifetime of struggle to ascertain. We want to justify our suffering or else we would have to recognize that it was just us in the way the whole time.

It's all about association.

So what is the question that we are trying to answer? We might say that it is "how do we become our best consistently?"

In order to live at our best consistently we need only to be associated to our best consistently. Rather than focusing our energy on our limiting behaviors we must focus on the spiritual matter from which they are born.

Have you ever been in a very angry mood and inadvertently snapped at someone who was trying to extend a kindness to you? What happened in your mind at that moment?

Your psychological state was flooded with anger. All thoughts, external stimuli, and even the decisions you would consider for yourself were filtered through that state. And the world looks far different to us with red glasses on rather than clear ones.

You will not act with truly wholehearted compassion in a state of extreme anger. It would be incongruent. It's impossible. Your mind would have to choose one direction to lean into more so than the other.

In essence, the quality of our actions is dependent on the quality of our emotional states. If we can shift our emotional center of gravity away from unresourceful emotions and towards a more centered place of confidence and gratitude, our actions will be those of our truly best self.

So what causes our emotional states? A point of focus. What we focus on, we feel. And what we feel determines how we act.

A reducible way to explain this phenomenon would be "we become what we think about."

When you are caught up in the stories of the internal narrator of your mind you will feel as if they are really true. When you say to yourself "my boss doesn't recognize my work" or "my wife never accepts any responsibility" your mind has produced a fleeting thought born of a need for self preservation.

Your choice is to let the thought pass in front of your stream of awareness and refuse to get involved with it or to choose to believe that it is true, continue to focus on it, and reap the emotional consequences.

This is the real source of all forms of psychosis – depression, anxiety, and more. Although it doesn't feel like you are in control of the direction of your thoughts and emotions, you very much are.

We show up according to what we are present to.

Anyone can be angry, depressed, or stricken with panic. If we all sat and thought long and hard enough we could surely think of something that would induce these feelings in us. Either a bad memory of the past or an imagined fear of the future would assuredly do it.

For each of us the combination to the lock is different but we each only need our own set of numbers before the right emotion is unleashed.

The good news is that we can control this very phenomenon and recondition it to serve our needs. Just as you could focus on things that would depress you, you could also focus on a memory or dream or goal that would cause you to feel extraordinary confidence, overwhelming joy, or so much gratitude that you can't help but begin to cry.

Go ahead and try it now. Can you think of a moment you are immensely grateful for? Close your eyes and go back there for a moment. Focus on all the details and let the feelings it brings wash over you.

When you open your eyes again and come back to your center you will recognize that you just purposefully directed your mind to a place that is always available to you. You have now flooded your nervous system with an emotion that will cause you to act as your best self so long as you remain present to that feeling.

Whatever we become present to we feel, and whatever we feel dictates how we will behave.

With enough practice, states of gratitude, confidence, or whatever we want can become automatic and we will soon be acting as our best selves the majority of the time.

Remember, don't try to fix the behavior. If you behaved in a way that displeases you, you will never correct your course by attempting to fix the behavior from an unresourceful emotional state.

When you don't take control of your emotions and let your thoughts drift to ones of fear and laziness, that is the place from which your actions will come. Any decision made out of an unresourceful state is always the wrong decision.

Focus on the feelings you want, bring them into your body, and then you will behave congruently with those resourceful feelings. You won't even have to push yourself to do the things you need to do. Once you are in a confident state, you will do what needs to be done with no thought at all. Once you breath in the essence of your best self, they will know what to do.

Faith or fear.

As we go through life, we feel impulses from the depths of our being to take us in a particular direction. When we feel that a relationship has become toxic we feel an urge to make a change. When we know that we have learned all there is to learn at our work, we feel the need to leave and embrace new challenges.

This ever-present current of spiritual energy within us is always attempting to move our lives forward, but we don't always let it. When these moments of insights occur to us that encourage us to make a new decision, if we hesitate before taking action, the doubtful voice of our mind creeps in and finds any reason to not take the leap.

Rather then expending this newfound energy that has risen from the insight and use it to propel ourselves forward, we keep the energy trapped and it moves in a backward spiral rather than a forward one. We push down the urge to make a change and fall back into our comfortable routine, but then the feeling occurs again.

If we fail to listen to what our internal impulses are trying to tell us we will continually push down their insight of potential growth in the name of safety and certainty. Deeper and deeper the spiral goes as it heads downward towards stress, anxiety, and potentially even depression. We feel trapped, but we fail to realize that we are the ones trapping ourselves.

We have become more present to our fear than we have our courage, which if we were to wear it, would put a new face on everything in our lives.

The test of the universe.

It's as if the entire universe has conspired to present you with an ongoing challenge. The challenge is being presented in every moment of your life, and it is asking you if you would like to say "yes" to life's invitation.

The question being posed to you by God, the Universe – whatever you believe – is "do you accept?" "Do you embrace?" "Do you want to be one with all that there is?" "Do you want to access all of the resources that are available to you right now?"

The challenge is to embrace the fear of the unknown and grasp only onto faith that you will find a way. The choice is to lean into existence, not recoil out of fear and justify why the water was too cold to jump in.

Most of us are saying "No, not just yet" until the day that we die. Only when we are swept up in the arms of death will we finally wake up from our sleepwalking to recognize that life has been raging all around us, but we have been walking through it looking at our feet.

The truth is as simple as this: everything you need is within you now. You need only to reach out and use it.

Your entire life you have been searching for the answer to an unstated question, perpetually feeling in most of your moments that something has been missing.

You've been out looking for the ultimate solution to "the problem." But the question is this: why do you want to have a problem? Why is it that you need a question to be answered? Is it not possible to simply exist, to live, without a problem?

"But, you don't understand. I've got three kids that all need..." STOP. There it is again. That little critiquing voice that is the real problem. That little voice that gets in the way of you and infinite possibilities. The little voice that convinces you that you "can't" once your heart has made up its mind already that it "will."

When we are present to this moment and our internal narrating mind is quiet, immense wisdom flows to us. We are filled with ideas of how to get what we really want. We need only to then trust the message those insights are bringing and act upon them.

By developing the habit of embracing these invitations to grow, leaning in to existence will become our natural state rather than recoiling away.

If you have any problem at all it is only that you have not cultivated the faculty of being present. You have not allowed the troubled waters of the mind to settle so that the real piercing insight of what you need to do next can emerge.

The only problems you have are the ones you have invented to have something to grasp with, to avoid the unbearable lightness of your being.

You can direct your emotional state wherever you need to, and therefore you can act in whatever way you need to act. You can stop believing everything that you think and you can become who you really are as a limitless spiritual being.

What will you choose?

Becoming present was once our automatic state when we entered this world before we developed a label and categorization for everything. We can relearn this most natural state of openness and power.

There has never been a time when more strategies exist on how to become present and access our soul rather than our mind. Meditation is one of the oldest and most powerful ways to still our mind and access the endless sea of spiritual resources lying underneath the turbulent waters of our mind.

The simplest path to presence is to go through life "practicing" everything that you do. Bring deliberateness to every action. When you walk, know that you are walking and walk well. Walk fully. The same can be done when you listen to others, mow the lawn, or brush your teeth.

The perpetual choice available to you is to remain open to the natural current of the universe and let its energy in and then back out through you. The choice is to sleep walk through life or wake up.

Your spiritual growth has no true barriers, only the imagined walls of belief you have convinced yourself are real.

TRANSCRIPT

My work is focused on trying to understand where do our behaviors come from, where do our thoughts come from, what is it that shapes us into the human beings that we are? Because if we can understand that, we might be able to actually become Masters of the situation in at least as much as possible and change the process of living from an unconscious process into a consciously designed process, in which the best portions of ourselves show up more consistently.

So, some findings that I've discovered after working with individuals who are struggling with relationship issues, suicidal depression, pervasive anxiety and stress disorders, bipolar disorder, or simply a lackadaisical feeling of malaise with life, feeling like they don't have inspiration, they don't have purpose, and there is this gnawing, nagging feeling that there's something more to this human condition than what we've been told. You can have one individual, and you know people like this who have been given virtually every luxury and resource imaginable, an amazing education, wealth, perhaps from an inheritance, every opportunity in the world to contribute, to become something, to rise up, to be able to give to society and others, yet these individuals very often we find tragically overdosing at the age of 26 or 27, or squandering all of the wealth that they were afforded, or simply adopting a philosophy of the world that says "this isn't something I wanted," and they end up squandering their true human potential.

We all know individuals like this, and then at the same time we also know of individuals who were seemingly given nothing at all, they had no resources, no education, for some reason it seemed like all of these cards of the universe were stacked against them but somehow they tapped into something ethereal, they tapped into something that is commonly shared amongst all of us, and they were able to actually rip it open and use it to become a true asset to themselves, their family, and to society. What is happening here? Why is it that we have some individuals who are seemingly fated to become a victim of their circumstances who end up in this set of situations, and then we have a different set of individuals who truly become the inspiring examples to us of what could be? Why is it that some people become warnings and some people become exemplars of what the human condition can be?

So what is really going on here, how is it that we could become masters of the situation? I think that that question is central to the human existence and I think that it is central for us being able to tap into our own innate ability to perform in whatever ways it is that we seek to perform. If we truly want to be an innovative entrepreneur, if we want to be a magnificent school teacher, if we want to be a loving and caring mother or father, if we want to be an exceptional leader with our team and we don't want to be hung up by this emotional baggage, how is it that we can peer inside of the black box of the mind, understand where these knots occur in the psyche, understand how to unravel them and understand how to show up at our best consistently, perhaps not a hundred percent of the time, but how could we shift our emotional center of gravity such that we become the joyous masters of our life, is it really possible, that's the central question that I've been perplexed by for years and I'm happy to be sharing my findings with you today. In fact, I think that there's a lot of interesting answers to that question and there's a lot of ways to take the conversation, but there is one central concept that I found to understanding the difference that makes the difference in human psychology and emotional well being, and what I'm talking about is a concept that could help us truly move out of a state in which we existentially feel, at least at some level, that we are the creature of our circumstances rather than the creator of our circumstances. And that central concept that I'm talking about is not necessarily a new one, but I want to introduce it to you in a way that will hopefully be new, and that concept is the Idea of presence.

Now there's dozens, perhaps hundreds, maybe thousands of philosophers, scientists, neurobiologists who've talked about this idea, and who have attempted to try to bring its insights into the mainstream. The problem is that up until recent years and even now, we're seeing a good deal of resistance to this idea even though it has profound implications for who we can be in how we can tap into the greatest potential we have as human beings, how we can make sure that we accessing this truly cosmic set of resources that we've been given, whether you believe in a natural creator or whether you believe in a supernatural creator, the truth is that you have been given an opportunity, a sort of cosmic opportunity, the challenge is that most of us don't usually seize that opportunity and rip it open and make them absolute best gifts of it.

Well, let's get back to the central question of presence. Presence is the central idea that I think could fundamentally shift how we view our relationship with ourselves as well as our relationship with every individual that we truly know and our relationship with whatever it is that we believe is our source of creation in this world. By presence, I mean the ability to not just be aware in your waking life as you navigate it, but to be aware that you are aware. And so for example, right now, wherever you are sitting, standing, no matter who you're with, think for a minute. Are you aware that you are aware?

There is a philosopher who had once said that no man or woman is truly free unless they have completely ascertained the empire of themselves. See, once we enter into a state of awareness of being aware we enter into a new level of consciousness, quite literally. Physiologically we can see different activity happening inside of the brain. We can see that when we become truly present, when we become fully Immersed in the moment that we are in at the moment, we will notice a change in our brain activity, if we were using an EEG, and we could also see a change in the electrical activity emanating from our heart.

There's some fantastic work being done by the author of Heart Math Solution that shows that when somebody is under duress, when somebody is in a state of anxiety, anger, frustration, stress, whatever the case, is any of these unresourceful states that cause the worst parts of ourselves to emerge, there's an interesting phenomenon that is happening. If we were able to hook up electrical nodes to our brains and our hearts, what we would see is that in a moment of duress, the brain waves are moving in one particular direction while the electrical chemical activity of our heart, yes there are heart waves of electrical activity, are moving in an opposite direction. There's quite literally dissonance inside of the body, we feel a tension, we feel a closing off to the world, we feel that we need to protect ourselves by distancing ourselves from whatever seems to be the stimulus cause of the stress.

Now interestingly, when human beings are in states of joy, passion, true love and connection, when we are ultimately in these resourceful states those activity waves, those brain waves and heart waves synchronize with each other. It's an amazing phenomenon to see, and of course we've all experienced this as well emotionally. Whenever we're in a state of true bliss or joy, we feel completely at ease with the world, we feel as if anything could come to us, and we would be able to handle it. We feel that no matter what, there is a cosmic understanding that we're at union with, that everything is okay fundamentally, that we will make it through. Those are the fundamentally resourceful states that cause the best portions of ourselves to emerge.

Now how is it that we tap into those resourceful states on a regular basis? Well part of the answer lies in understanding neurological conditioning, and this is what I have tended to find in my research and in my direct experience in helping my coaching clients go from a state of disease mentally and physiologically to a state of ease and confidence and exuberance and exhilaration in their life. So what happens is, if we're talking about for instance a marital couple, the two of them will have a perpetual pattern of emotional unresourcefulness, and this will emerge based off whatever it is that they are allowing themselves to become present to.

Now that sounds obvious, but if you really understand the deeper truth here, we can tap into the doorway that leads us to psychological freedom. And what I found is that a marital couple,who's having continued strife inside of their marriage has become habitually focused on the things that they view as not going right in the marriage.

Now again, sounds obvious enough, but think of it for a moment at a deeper level. You are in a relationship with somebody, and you have perpetually conditioned your nervous system, your mind, your body, your soul to all be orienting itself towards what is going wrong or the things that frustrate you or this one little memory from years ago the thing that they did that irritated you, what happens is, because we're focused on it, we feel it, we make it a part of our central reality, and we make it a part of what we experience as what the real world is. The problem is that when we're so fixated on all of these challenges that our partner has been giving us, that's not what reality is, that's just what our particular mental model of the world is at the time. You see, the truth is that we could be focused on all of the amazing feelings of gratitude that we could be feeling, all of the things that they have done for us, all of the amazing memories of ecstasy and bliss and connection and love and contribution that we share with those individuals. If we were habitually focused on those elements of our relationship, we would have a fundamentally different emotional experience.

Now this idea of presence again it's not a new one. This is central to the eastern religion traditions such as Buddhism, Hinduism, the idea of mindfulness has been central to a lot of new age health practices, we see this in obviously yoga, we saw the introduction of mindfulness in a counterculture sort of way with the advent of hallucinogens and there's kind of that side of this concept, but what I'm talking about here is something that you don't need to take drugs to access. What I'm talking about is not something that you need to go into a monastery to access and what I'm talking about is not something that requires a set of dogmatic spiritual beliefs to be accompanied with it in order for you to be able to access the value of. What I'm talking about is a simple, I'm gonna say spiritual practice because it requires your spirit, it doesn't require your intellectual, academic, critiquing mind to access it. It requires your heart frankly, it requires your emotional energy, that's what I mean it requires you being able to lean into the experience.

And so when we talk about presence, what I mean here is, first of all, the ability to enter into a heightened level of consciousness. What I mean here is simply do you have the ability to rise to a higher level of awareness? Are you able to, first of all, become aware that you are aware? The difference between being caught up and lost in your thoughts versus being able to separate yourself from your thoughts by just one thin layer and recognize that you are not your thoughts, but you are the observer of your thoughts. You know that internal voice that you have inside of your mind that goes goes goes all the time? For instance, you can hear it right now, let it say the word hello. Do you hear it? It's there with you all the time and never shuts up, it's going every single day. What I've found in my work with people who are dealing with all sorts of challenges psychologically is that internal voice and getting caught up in the stories that that voice tells you is central to the entire challenge of the human condition. Have you ever allowed that voice to tell you something over and over and over again so much so that you allowed it to convince you that that was the state of affairs and then later down the line, you ended up realizing that you were completely wrong? Perhaps you had an internal story in your mind that said, "my best friend screwed me over, they screwed me over, they screwed me, over they screw me over," and you keep telling yourself this over the course of a couple of days or weeks so much to the point that you have truly hypnotized yourself into literally believing it's true. You have backed an ethereal, passing thought of "they've screwed me over" with emotional certainty and therefore you've solidified a belief inside of your psychology and what happens is that belief has now become a part of the guiding structure, a part of the guiding map, if you will, that you are using to navigate your life. You've now constructed a wall inside of your psychology that says that person screwed me over. That wall seems to truly be there, it seems to be certain, it seems to have a foundation to it, it seems to be impassible, but it's just something you've created in the mind.

And what we end up doing is as we navigate through our life, we end up constructing intricate, rigid walls for ourselves that truly limit what we will even conceive of being possible inside of our worlds. And just in that same way that you had convinced yourself that your friend had screwed you over but later down the line, you learn something that changed the fundamental situation of facts, we are living in these intricate series of mazes that we've constructed in our minds, where we've said to ourselves, "nope, that is something that I know to be true," well, how do you know that it's true? How do you know absolutely that that is the case? How do you know that your your wife is cheating on you? How do you know that your boss has absolutely no consideration for what your priorities are? How do you know that there's absolutely no hope for you in this world and that your only option is killing yourself? How do you know that the entire world is out to get you? How do you know that you're going to be perpetually locked into your current state of income no matter what you do? So that internal narrator catch us up, it causes us to show up differently.

Isn't it interesting how we all have a bit of a split personality disorder? I mean think about it, each one of us demonstrates different aspects of ourselves contingent upon who we are with, the environment that we're surrounded in, as well as the emotional fuel that is running through the tank of our body at the time. Have you ever had a moment where you've completely snapped at somebody angrily when they had requested something of you even though you were completely irritated for something they had nothing to do with them? Each one of us has had an experience like this, and after we've had the experience, we've regrettably gone to the individual and asked for forgiveness because our reaction had absolutely nothing to do with them. Similarly, we've all had experiences where one element of our life is going incredibly well, we get some amazingly good news, and for the rest of the day, we're navigating the day in amazing spirits, uplifted spirits and everyone around us is going, "what's going on with you, you're glowing today," or "something is off, what's happening," and you say "well, I'm just in a great mood," and we're able to carry that emotional state with us throughout the day. We demonstrate different parts of ourselves based off of the emotional responses that we have to the world.

The interesting thing to take into account here is that we very often view our emotional reactions to the world as fundamentally not our choice. Now, you may not think absolutely, but you tend to operationally live that way. At one level you might think "well, I'm in control of my life, I'm in control of how I act, I'm in control." Well, has that really been how you've been living up to this point, because in my experience working with a couple of thousand coaching clients I've realized that that's not the case.

Most of us have knots in our internal psyche that cause us to encounter friction as were attempting to navigate the world. We tend to have things that we hold on to with emotional baggage that cause to show up differently, that cause us to show up with pain, insecurity, and a general sense of emotional unresourcefulness. One's ability to access presence is what enables one to increase emotional fitness and emotional well-being.

If you are having consistent challenges with your boss at work, it's not the boss that you're having challenges with, it's the internal story that you have adopted about the boss. If you have a particular belief in your mind that says "my boss never takes into consideration my priorities," I have one question for you to consider and meditate on for a moment. Is that really true? And this is the central question that you need to ask whenever there appears to be friction between you and your life and you realize that you have an internal guiding narration that you've adopted that may be hypnotizing you into a particular emotional state. Ask yourself, "is that really true," and what you will find is if you truly meditate on that and you don't let your mind stray from the question until you reach a yes or no, almost every single time, the answer is no. You will realize that you will have emotionally adopted a belief that is not even true but you have adopted it as a emotional map. You have decided that that is what is true and this is how this works this is how human beings navigate their life.

As opposed to directly experiencing the world as it truly is, being open and receptive to all that there is to experience each casting moment, we instead try to hold our world together, but in fact we end up trying to hold ourselves together by constructing this intricate web of knotty thoughts, and then what happens is, when reality actually bumps up against that map, and it doesn't sync up, it doesn't work, we end up getting frustrated. We have taken all of what is truly available to us to experience as existence, we've taken a small portion of that and decided that that is our model of the world and then whenever anything from reality bumps up into that limited model of the world that we don't like or that falls outside of it, we call it unfair. What a limited existence to live. We unconsciously hypnotize ourselves into believing these stories, and these stories are fundamentally what we use to navigate our life, they define what our experience of our life will be, the internal narrator inside of our mind, we equate to being us. We believe everything that we think and that is one of the central reasons why we have a fundamental challenge with navigating through life.

The first task for you to enter into a new state of presence and a new state of awareness is to separate yourself from your thoughts. Do not believe everything that you think. You need to instead understand that you are the observer of your thoughts. Now here's an easy way to do this and I think that this exercise is a brilliant one, it comes from the work of Michael Singer and The Untethered Soul. Imagine that that internal narrating voice that you hear inside of your mind is a person sitting on the couch with you, and that you are navigating your life and you are listening to this person and their internal voice, make that voice their voice, and they're talking to themselves. Now imagine going through an entire day with that person. What you will realize is that that person is perhaps the most neurotic, uncentered, unstable individual that you have ever met. They should probably be locked up in an insane asylum for all of the things that they've said to themselves throughout the day, muttering, consistently weighing this side versus this side in a given decision that they have to make, perpetually doubting themselves, critiquing, never being able to simply shut the hell up.

Now here's the real question. Why is it that you allow that internal narrating neurotic voice that perhaps represents the worst part of you to be the single source of your decision making? Why do you pay so much credence and attention to what that internal narrating voice has to say? Why is it that you listen to that neurotic part of yourself over any other part of yourself, why is that the place from which you are making decisions? Well, what I imagine is the case is that you simply haven't realized that there was a different choice. You didn't realize that there was a different place from which you could make your decisions. You didn't realize that there was a fundamental separation that you could achieve in your psychology so that you wouldn't be fully immersed and involved in all of the random passing thoughts of that internal narrator. But there is a choice, and in order for us to. The choice we have to understand why it is that the internal narrator exists and why it is so hyperactive.

Now the reason why this is is easy to understand. Our ancestors had a fundamental evolutionary advantage to being on guard to potential danger in their environments. If they heard a rustling in the bush, the individual who is able to run fastest away from the danger have the highest likelihood of getting their genes passed on to the next generation. So we became evolutionarily predisposed to be on guard for danger in our environment. The problem is we no longer have saber tooth tigers lurking behind bushes anymore. And so when your boss comes up to you and says "hey, we need to talk," all of a sudden you experience a neurochemical, physiological, emotional response to that as if there were a saber tooth tiger behind a bush that was rustling. And now all of a sudden, your entire nervous system has seemingly become hijacked. That internal voice now steps in and tries to take control, and the way it tries to take control is by narrating your experience of life. "Oh my gosh, what's this going to be about, what is it that they need to do, my performance wasn't that great this past month but man, it really was because I had some challenges going on at home and the sales figures just weren't where they needed to be because those leads weren't as strong as they could have been." All of a sudden, your mind jumps in on hyperdrive, trying to rationalize trying to calm you down.The problem is, in an experience like this, the mental waters of our mind have become troubled, as if a rock were thrown into the water and all of a sudden we're seeing ripples spread out from that rock. So now, we attempt to quell the ripples in the water by engaging in the ripples of the water. It's as if we attempted to lay our hands on the water and smooth out the the waves, but the problem is, we're just going to end up creating more waves.

People, in my experience, have demonstrated their innate ability to take a stressful situation and then pile stress on top of stress, because they experience that they're feeling stress, and then they get stressed about the fact that they're experiencing stress, because they don't want to feel out of control, and in a vain attempt to try to gain control, the internal narrating voice simply escalates the volume inside of our minds, and therefore we become perpetually stressed. The spiral deepens as it goes downward, and eventually you may hit rock bottom when your physiology is on such an edge that it can't take it anymore, and this is how people end up hyperventilating themselves into panic attacks and heart attacks.

Now there's a different path that we can take, spiritually and emotionally. As opposed to allowing the spiral to go downward, we can consciously direct it upward, and in fact, if we were to think of the two foci that are at the opposite ends of that spectrum that enable us to figure out which direction we're going to be going, those two foci are as simple as focusing on ourselves and focusing on somebody else.

So here's what I mean. These challenges of how to live life from a psychologically resourceful state, of how to be able to tap into the true essence of our spirit, how to live inspired lives, meaning in spirit remain as old as the human condition itself. There's a philosopher who once said that if you look at civilization in the modern day, it could be said that we are essentially no more advanced than the Greeks were. In fact, what you could say about the modern day human being, most of us anyway, is that we have essentially climbed to the super chimpanzee level at best, and what he said further is that if you look at somebody like Nietzche or Descartes, or the true spirit of a philosopher or an agent of social change, or perhaps an entrepreneur that truly fundamentally shifts the perspective of a civilization, if you look at that real spirit, the realm of the spirit of an artist, a poet, a philosopher, any of these individuals who seem truly exemplary and you look at the average human being, the gap between those seems larger than that super chimpanzee and that human being. Because most of us are living our lives in a state of drudgery, a state of expectation, a state of unconscious responsibility, we have an innate inertia that's propelling us through life because we feel that we have to do certain things or else the entire world is going to collapse, and our sense of self is going to deteriorate. But how often have we actually looked ourselves in the mirror as a spiritual being and said "who are you? What is it that you're contributing to the world? What is it that you are going to do that is innovative, that is unique, that is going to be of value? On your deathbed, what will you be proud of that you gave to the world, or will you simply have realized that you paid bills until you died?" That's not the existence that I truly want for myself, that I want for you. and that I want for our civilization's children and grandchildren. I think that we have more choices than that, but the problem is that we don't tend to consciously become aware that we have different choices than that, and the reason for this is because of how we navigate our world, and we navigate our world through this internal, constructed set of beliefs that create, in essence, a map, a map of possibilities that we believe we have in how we navigate life, and this map is constructed in response to what is most painful in our lives, for instance, in your childhood, you might have had a situation where no matter what you tried to do, your father or mother seemingly got deeply, deeply upset with you anytime you tried to take a risk, anytime you tried to do something that was risky, you realized that you could not take risks as a child and put yourself in potential danger and still receive the love of your parents.

Well what I come to understand when I'm working with my coaching clients were trying to sort out these knots in their internal psychology later in their adult life is that when you experienced that moment as a child, you unconsciously created a decision. The unconscious map that you use to guide your life decisions got a new segment built into it that you probably weren't even aware of. Whatever it was that you were unable to be for the parents that you sought the most love from as a child dictates who you choose to be in your current life now.

A client that I worked with recently had a difficult time being able to step up in a career environment, being able to say what he really thought, being able to ask out a woman that he was attracted to, being able to be self confident in who he was because he had a father figure that was overtly over masculine, over aggressive, over assertive, domineering and dominating, and the key decision that he made as a child was "I'm not going to be like that." He didn't consciously make that decision, but at an unconscious level, which is the most powerful part of our mind, that is the power, that part of our mind is the part that has those gut reactions to our environment, and so it dictates our decisions far more than we let on.

This is, in a sense, the reptile brain at work. That part of our brain that is neurologically linked to our aversion to feeling pain, that part of our brain that is trying to make sure that if there is anything in our environment that could potentially disrupt us, then we remove ourselves from it as quickly as possible, that we try to put up our walls emotionally so that we can numb ourselves or make sure that we don't experience pain.

Think of what happens in a romantic situation. You're hurt by your partner, what do you do? Do you go to them lovingly, open up and express love and say "oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, let's reconnect." No, very often what you do is you put up a wall, you try to numb yourself, you try to distance yourself from the feelings so that you can limit the amount of emotional pain that you're going to experience. The problem is you end up cementing yourself inside of your pain. You end up closing off to the world and you end up closing off to your partner and you end up recoiling and making sure that you express no love, and therefore because you're expressing no love, no love returns back to you, and the pattern persists.

So what we have to do in order to become a master of the situation is we have to understand, first of all, that the internal narrating mind is constant unless we separate ourselves from it. Instead of labeling the world and trying to create map of the world that we use to operate in parallel to what reality actually is, we can simply experience reality directly as it is. As opposed to trying to use the internal narrator to hold ourselves together and further cement our solidity of an egocentric mind, we can instead transcend that, we can instead experience the world directly. We can directly observe the world and we can interact with it in a synergistic relationship of subject and object.

Being able to tap into a psychological state of presence enables to survey the canvas of our mind. It enables us to be able to recognize the internal belief structures that we've created that have guided our decisions of what we thought to be possible and impossible in our life, and the psychological state of presence allows us to, first of all, enables us to step out of that for a moment, take a look at it, and now enter into a model in which we could consciously decide what it is that we actually adopt as our beliefs of what is possible and impossible. Being able to turn to this vein enables us to recognize that how we are unconsciously reacting to the world does not have to be the only way in which we react to the world. We can instead consciously decide how it is that we're going to show up in different circumstances.

So once we're able to separate ourselves from that internal narrator, become aware that we are aware, and allow ourselves to watch these thoughts emerge and dissipate in the mind as opposed to getting fully involved in each one of them, we now enter into a new state of psychological freedom. We now are able to look at the fact that we reacted in anger to our partner and say "that's not something that I like, that's not something that's their fault, that's not congruent with my values of who I hold myself to be, and so now I'm going to approach myself differently in those situations." Next time you're in a situation with your partner where they do that same thing that would aggravate you, if you were to act unconsciously, then you would simply react, you would let that reptile brain react and dominate your current emotional experience of the world, but if you're able to step back, if you're able to notice the anger rising up in you and remain present fully aware that you're aware of the situation, and not get fully involved in each passing thought that emerges in your mind, you all of a sudden enter into a state of freedom to choose how it is that you respond, what path it is that you choose to walk on, how you're going to demonstrate yourself, what identity it is that you choose to embody.

See, when we're in a state of presence, what we've enabled ourselves to do is be able to access every color in the psychological palette that we have available to us. Joy, bliss, ecstasy, anger, perseverance, determination, any experience emotionally that you have experienced at any point in your life you can experience again and you can learn to enable yourself to do it on demand. Once you stop closing yourself off to the world, once you stop saying no to this sort of cosmic invitation that is presenting itself in each moment to be present, to be one with what is happening, to accept at an existential level what your current circumstances are so that you can then become a master of manipulating them, becoming a creator of circumstance rather than a creature of circumstance, once you're able to adopt that choice and lean into each moment as it presents itself to you, you are welcomed with a new set of choices. You now are able to decide, how much passion do I want to bring to my life, how much exhilaration do I want to bring to the table, how much joy do I want to live with? You get to choose how open you are spiritually, how present you become, versus unconsciously closing yourself off to the world and wondering why it is that you perpetually have this nagging feeling that there's something so much more available to you as a human being that you are not grasping onto.

This is that central concept that in each moment we are either embracing and using or we are denying. In each moment, the universe is presenting an invitation to you, and that invitation is do you want to say yes, do you want to be at one with what is? And this doesn't mean that you become a passive observer where you just sit in your arm chair on your lotus flower like the buddha and you sit there for eternity and do nothing, I'm sure that that's not an existence that you want, I'm sure you wanna do all sorts of things. You probably want to experience every color of the emotional rainbow. Ups, downs, redemption, exhilaration, determination, making it happen, pushing it through, lust and love and sexiness and all of those things you're welcome to experience, and I would hope that you'd want to experience for yourself. So this isn't about becoming eternally present at such a level that we're just going to sit in our armchair and be at one with the universe perpetually until we die, you could do that I suppose if you want, but it's about you recognizing you are the one who is able to decide what you bring table. You don't have to adopt limiting narration inside of your mind that complacently tells you that you have a certain set of choices, and then rationalize to yourself why those choices are the only ones you have so that you have some semblance of an identity and an ability to go to sleep at night. That's not going to make you happy, that's not going to make you fulfilled at the end of your life.

What's going to make you fulfilled is the ability to condition your nervous system, shift your emotional center of gravity, make sure that you're showing up more presently, make sure that you are conditioning a state where you become more aware that you're aware and you're navigating life. Make sure that you are deciding how it is that you accept the invitation of God, the universe, whatever it is that you call it. What's going to make you happy is if you lean into existence and say yes and rip it open, as opposed to recoiling, saying no, not just yet, and rationalizing why right now is not the time. I very often will ask people, are you fulfilled? And I will sincerely ask them that question because I think it's a sincere question anybody should be able to answer, and what I experienced is that most people, when I ask that question they say something like "well, kind of," and what I realized is that they have allowed doubt to become the central mode of their psychology. They have entered into a mode of living in which whatever presents itself to them they look at skeptically. And by no means am I saying that you should simply you know accept everything. It tells you is true, or you shouldn't be inquisitive or that you shouldn't use your faculty of reason, I'm of course saying you should use those things, but what I'm saying is that so many people, even though they are surrounded by immense gifts, if you're making over 32,000 dollars you are in the global one percent, okay and if you're making less than that, you're probably not far from it.

Most people I work with, they have all of their material needs accounted for, they have their basic fundamental quality of living and life accounted for, they've got those basic things figured out, the problem is that they're still aren't fulfilled, they have friends, they have a career, they have an income, they have perhaps a romantic partner, but for some reason they're not fulfilled. And the problem with this is that no matter what gifts are around you, no matter how much money you make, no matter how much your family loves you, no matter how many friends you have around you, if you are unable to become present, be able to shut up the internal narrator and become truly aware of the gifts that you have in your life, then you will never feel fulfilled. Nothing will ever fill you up. True wealth comes when you embrace gratitude for what you have, not because you reach a certain amount in your bank account, and in fact, no matter how much you end up making, if you are unable to feel gratitude, you will never truly be wealthy, you will always be impoverished. And so if we want to live a fulfilled life, we have to be able to adopt this skill, we have to be able to rise to a new level of emotional fitness, we have to be able to survey the entire landscape one is available to us and be able to access it and implement it and play with it and creatively engaged in the process of creating an extraordinary life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said what any human being has ever thought or felt, any other human being can think or feel. Carl Jung talked about the collective unconscious and how if there is an idea out there, any one of us could be able to tap into it, because we are all essentially a part of this same a ethereal plane of existence. You've probably heard of story of the four minute mile, how nobody thought it was possible to break a mile being run under four minutes, one person did it and then all of a sudden, a ton of people have done it. There have been studies done where people were monitored at their ability to do crossword puzzles over a given period of time, and then secretly they were given crossword puzzles that had been answered by thousands of people a day before and their answers went up dramatically.

So it appears that even though we may not be able to actually understand what is consciously happening, that we're all effectively a part of the same ethereal, psychological, spiritual plane, if you think of it, we're all made of the same stuff, whether you believe in an actual God or determinism, or you think that the two are compatible with one another and they're in fact the same thing, our bodies are governed by natural laws, I mean, we are made from the same stuff as stars. I mean, everything in our life, everything in our world is essentially energy being transformed from one state into a new state, and so you could say that we are effectively all tied to the same cosmic fabric, and what I would proposition to you is that individuals who are from that second category of class, meaning they have come from a lack of resources but they have demonstrated ultimate resourcefulness, what I would say to you is that those individuals are the individuals who have become aware of the fact that there are answers out there waiting for them to be able, waiting for them to be able to tap into, and they have consciously directed themselves on that path, on that cosmic blanket if you will, it's kind of how I visualize it. What that means is, whatever it is you want to do in your existence, it's possible that somebody has already proven that it can be done.

This eternal current running through the universe that we're all a part of, that we can all become present with and tap into is what Lao Tzu, the famous Chinese philosopher, talked about in the Tao Te Ching. And what he was talking about is this exact concept, how the entire universe is a compilation of energy that's completely being transformed consistently and that it's something that we can tap into, that this internal mind that we have is something that we can become present to and tap into, it’s like a bottomless ocean of ideas, of insights, of passion, of exuberance.

There is essentially a body of infinite intelligence out there that we're able to tap into at any given time. In fact, this is what Napoleon Hill, the author of Think and Grow Rich talked about in his book, where he said that when you're truly backed by definiteness of purpose, when you are moving through your life with a purpose driven will, when you do not let that internal narrator to guide what your decisions are but instead you put that away and you let this eternal state of will guide your decisions, what happens is you are able to tap into what he called infinite intelligence, and it's the exact same concept we're talking about. What we're really talking about here is becoming vitally present with the universe, synchronizing your spiritual harmony with the universe so that you no longer are experiencing ruffles in the water. And what happens is when you become synergistically aligned with this eternal energy that is permeating every single moment, you're able to tap into the insights that it provides for you.

Have you ever had a moment where you had a problem that you needed to solve and you have no idea how the hell you were going to do it, and you tried a couple of things, but you sat there and you've thought about it and you were just sitting there, and you were letting your mind kind of be open and empty, and you're contemplating the problem and you're meditating on the problem, and then all of a sudden, you have this Eureka moment, and you realize “oh that's the thing I need to do," and you go and do it and it works. Or maybe you go and try that thing and it doesn't work, but as you engage in that process, as you lean in to existence, as you stay present and purpose driven, you try one thing, that doesn't work, a different idea comes to you, you try that then maybe that doesn't work, but it leads you to this third thing, and all of a sudden that is exactly what you needed. All of a sudden, you realize that each thing that presented itself to you as an obstacle actually was the very stepping stone you needed in order to get to the ultimate destination you needed. The obstacles became the way, as Ryan Holiday would say.

Marcus Aurelius, the famous stoic philosopher had said, take whatever comes to you as woven in the pattern of your destiny, for what could more aptly fit your needs? When you're truly present to the world, you're in flow with it. You are not arguing with what existence is telling you is the state of affairs. You might dislike it, you might be dissatisfied with your current state of affairs, but you're not getting pissed at the fact that you're in the state you're in right now, you're saying "this is where I am right now, how do I move to the next state of being that I need to emerge into?" Because most people just end up throwing their hands up, getting pissed, stomping around like toddlers at the fact that the universe hasn't completely laid out for them exactly what it is they want. That's no way to live, that's not what our creator, whether you believe it's a conscious one or whether you just believe that the natural world has given us these gifts, your creator wanted more for you than that. They wanted you to rise up, to embrace these gifts, to seek them out as a challenge, to be able to use them and rip open this experience of life.

I mean, the real question is what do you want and how much of it do you want? How passionate of a life that you want to live? Okay, tap into it. Bring it out. You can bring forward whatever emotional energy it is that you choose to manifest in any given time. The only valve that you have that is stopping that flow is your closed-offness from the world, your consistent reluctance to embrace, your consistent reluctance to accept, your consistent reluctance to say yes. If you perpetually say no to existence, you will eventually end up on your deathbed and you will bring yourself to the yes. Eventually you will have a lot more regret on your shoulders, because you'll have looked back on what you will have spent your time doing and you realize that all of these passing moments were fleeting by past you, and for none of them, or virtually none of them, you were truly there.

Most individuals are trying to navigate their psychological energy to any place other than where they actually are. When we're in a board meeting, we're thinking about being at home watching television. When we're at home watching television, if we're thinking at all, we're thinking about how we have work to do. When we're with our romantic partner, we're thinking about all the responsibilities we have with the kids. When we're with the kids, we're thinking about how the bank account isn't where we want it to be. At none of these periods of time are we truly open and receptive and present to the immense wealth of joy that is available to us at each one of these moments.

All that there is to feel and think and experience inside of the human condition, I tend to think of as sort of this sort of cosmic fabric of sorts, where we have different human beings who have demonstrated different things on that fabric. You've got the guy who ran the four minute mile over here, and surrounding him were all the people who tried and thought that it wasn't possible, but for some reason they didn't realize that that little piece spiritually of being able to actually run a four minute mile was accessible, and as soon as they realized that that was there, they sought it out and they found it, too. I think of individuals like Martin Luther King, Gandhi, people who shaped complete cultures and civilizations who were able to realize that on this cosmic map, there was somewhere for them to be able to land, there was some set of words for them to say, some set of actions that they could take, something that they could do, some example that they could set that would cause a mass movement to rise up and take action. They knew that there was that way, they were guided by that sense of certainty, they were guided by that sense of definiteness of purpose and therefore, they were able to tap into infinite intelligence and get insight after insight along the way as they navigated along them until they found their own rightful place on it. And now we know that that is there, we know that we can tap into that at any given moment.

Who else is on this cosmic map? Every human being that has ever existed. All of the innovative entrepreneurs. Henry Ford, Elon Musk, anybody who is innovating has carved out new space on this cosmic fabric that we could, if we chose to, if we became definite enough, if we became present enough and deliberate enough in our approach to life, we could tap into it as well. The question is where do you want to go? And how much joy do you want to experience? What do you want to create, what do you want to learn, what skills do you want to develop? What level of conditioning will you bring into your nervous system so that you shift who your identity is? Can you tear down the walls of the house of identity that you have built that has been remaining stationary on this blanket of the cosmos? Can you obliterate that and can you choose instead a direction that you can move in into infinity? There are no limits on how much our spirit can expand to, only insofar as there are limits that we create on our focus of emotional energy.

We choose the direction that we navigate ourselves on on this cosmic fabric. The fact that it exists is there, it's the central invitation of the cosmos. The question is where will you go on it, will you remain stationary on it, and will you choose to adopt an existence, a limited belief system existence where you believe you are a victim of your circumstances, or will you realize that perhaps your creator has wanted for you to understand that life is not just about you, that it would be a complete waste for you to live an entire life fixated on how you are not getting what you deserve, but instead that you should rise up to a new challenge to contribute beyond yourself, to be able to navigate this cosmic fabric by having a purpose to do so. And that purpose, if it is truly well intentioned, would be one that is guided by a desire to help and contribute to others.

You see, anybody can be depressed and anybody can feel completely exhilarated and passionate about life. When we create a particular model of meaning about our life that creates a narrative that tells us that we are a depressed person, we adopt an identity, we adopt a central set of focus. Our spiral of focus now becomes fixated on all of these internal meanings that we've adopted that paint us as the victim of our circumstances. But at the same time, we could just as easily shift our emotional state, our emotional energy, and our spiritual focus to a different direction, and that direction can be what is going right in our lives.

What gifts do we have to give to each other? We can ask a different type of questions that would cause us to arrive at different spiritual answers, that would call on us to rise up and do something completely different. One thing that is imperative for you to understand as you are navigating the spiritual journey is to realize that you will never be able to get yourself out of an UN resourceful state of mind, a downward spiral, by stacking onto it further downward motions. As I mentioned, most people meet their stress with stress, most people meet their anger with anger. Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that as Martin Luther King said. And so what you have to do is if you want to stop thinking about white bears you can't tell yourself "don't think about white bears."

You can't tell yourself if you're sad or angry, "stop being so sad or angry," that's not how the mind works. So instead what you have to do is you have to direct your emotional energy towards that which you want to go. A metaphor that I use very often is if you're driving on an icy road and you start to spin out of control, you're going to be tempted to look directly at the place that you don't want to go, which is the tree, and the problem is, when you direct your focus there, your psychological, spiritual, and physiological energy all becomes aligned and directs you right into it and you hit the tree, even though you didn't want to. So you have to turn your head away from what you fear and towards what you desire.

And that is the central invitation that we have in life as well in each passing moment. If you allow your fears to dictate your focus, you will allow your fears to dictate your model of the, what you believe is possible, and how you will navigate through life. If you choose to focus instead on what you desire, then that will all of a sudden become the impetus for your emotional fuel, and it will be that energy that you use to navigate the cosmic fabric an access whatever piece of spiritual ability it is that you choose to access. What's the difference between somebody who experiences depression on a daily basis and somebody who experiences passion and acceleration on a daily basis? That depressed person is focused on themselves primarily, and all of the things that they think they don't have that they should, while a passionate, exhilarated person is focused on how they are going to give to others, and therefore they are emotionally fueled with a purpose to do so.

Perhaps that is the central spiritual challenge being proposed to each one of us, not just are we able to lean into existence and say yes and rip it open and take full advantage of everything that we've been given, but perhaps it is not a coincidence that the individuals who are motivated to give to others are the ones who most naturally tap into the full range of their emotional resources. Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the more we tend to focus on ourselves, the more we tend to slip into the limited psychological state of destructive thoughts, limited beliefs, and contrived existences. So how do we access a state of presence? How do we make this something that we can do on a regular basis? How do we shift our emotional center of gravity or emotional home so that when we react to life, we are more adept to automatically reacting with joy and resourcefulness and confidence in all of those amazing upward emotions that we could possibly experience as opposed to the downward ones.

Well, the beauty of this is that our nervous system is pliable, we can shift it, we can consciously direct our energy and choose what identity it is that we want to embrace, we can become whoever it is that we want to be insofar as we lean into the constructive process of making that a reality. So here are some easy ways to get started and be able to access presence, to be able to access your heart rather than thinking through your head. One of the ways for you to be able to do this is to say to yourself :I wonder what my next thought will be," and then sit and think on that for a moment. And when you do this, what you'll realize is that all of a sudden the mind comes to a center, all of a sudden your thoughts stop, at least for a moment, and what you can do is you can say that to yourself periodically throughout the day, and you'll realize that you actually are accessing that state of presence where the internal narrator is not taking control.

Another way for you to access presence, one of my favorite ways, is to be mindful of everything that you're doing as you're doing it, and especially be mindful of your inner emotional feelings of your body, okay. So what I mean is, if you're walking, know that you're walking. If you're writing, know that you're writing, if you're driving, know that you're driving, and that seems commonsensical, it seems flippant, but what I really mean is don't do it absentmindedly, don't get lost in the perpetual spiral of your thoughts. If you're with your partner and you're conversing, know that you're there. Wherever you are, be there fully.

That's the central invitation. Another way to think about this is to be cognizant of where your body is and how your body is feeling, if you can direct your attention in a word and sort of become aware of this internal energy field vibrating through your body at any given time, you'll become eternally present. And now all of a sudden, the mind is no longer dictating what you're experiencing. Be aware that you are aware, it's really as easy as that. If you are able to ask yourself as you go through your days "am I awake," all of a sudden, you realize that you still have a moment to wake up. What you will realize is the better you get at doing this, the more you will experience life as if it were a lucid dream, In a lucid dream, what happens in a lucid dream is that you are aware that you're dreaming, and because you're aware that you're dreaming and you know that in a dream anything is possible, you are able to now direct your focus consciously to wherever it is that you want to go.

And what this means is you can create whatever you want to create, you can build a business, you can go sky dive, you can fly through space, you can go have whatever sex you want, you can do whatever you want to do. Now some of those things you can't do necessarily in ordinary life, like flying through the sky without the help of some sort of mechanism to help you do that, but life provides for you that same central invitation to navigate the cosmic fabric in whichever direction it is that you choose, and once you become present, once you approach life as if you were lucid dreaming, you realize that you can approach your entire life as a dreamer.

You can dream with your thoughts, with your emotions, with your hands, you can create things, you can dream with your heart and with your mind, you can do whatever it is that you want to do just as it would be the case as if you were dreaming. You can become a dreamer. The more you do this, the more your emotional energy, the more your spiritual and psychological energy centers into one place and just as a laser beam can cut through steel if it is completely centered into one location, it is equally powerless as soon as the light is fragmented in multiple directions.

And so the more you're able to do this, the more centered you become and the more powerful you are to be able to carve through existence into whichever direction it is that you want to experience. Once we become truly present to every opportunity that has been afforded to us, every opportunity we have right now, once we become present to the fact that the only moment we have anything to be able to do it is this moment right now, and therefore we ought not to be caught up in our frustrations of the past or our worries of the future, but that we can access every single color of the spiritual palette and use them to paint the most magnificent picture possible, once we accept that idea, we have true personal freedom. So what's the central invitation, what's the end conclusion, what's the final call to action, if you will? It's simply to live as if something mattered. It's simply to wake up.

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